06 June 2009

And you are bothering me because...?

My parents celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary tomorrow (June 7). I joined the rest of the family for a group portrait today, which turned out OK but it seems all of us squint the same eye when we smile, and I dropped by my favorite DVD outlet (which shall remain unnamed) to take advantage of a buy-2-get-1 sale. The store remains unnamed for the following reason.

I was browsing through the selection and mulling over which DVD I should buy for my third choice (I had already chosen Little Dorrit and Le Cercle Rouge). I was looking through the selection of Criterion Collection DVDs (again) and debating between Trafic, The Tales of Hoffmann, Rififi, or a Kurosawa - they didn't have Withnail and I - when I was accosted by a middle-aged, balding man (because that's who lurks in the video store) who was very friendly with the store staff but he didn't appear to be working:

Balding dude: Excuse me, I see you are looking at the Criterion Collection and no one does that.
[A very long pause.]
Me: ....And?
Balding dude: They're really overpriced.
[Another very long pause.]
Me: ....And?
Balding dude: Uh...you can probably get those movies for less elsewhere.
[who the heck is this guy?]
Me: Considering that Criterion is involved in creating film documentaries, film preservation, and distribution of hard-to-find films, particularly those films that show exemplary construction, I would say the prices are reasonable.
[like, seriously, wtf is it your business what I look at or purchase]
Balding dude: Oh....what have you chosen already? Can I see?
[if we weren't in public I would tell you to get fucked and fast]
Me: Le Cercle Rouge and Little Dorrit. Little Dorrit is not a Criterion film.
[I am starting to use my "I am smarter than you are and you should realize that" voice]
Balding dude [who is fast becoming the most irritating person in the planet]: Oh, they have foreign films? Really?
[for serious, am I on Candid Camera?]
Me: Yes. They do. And they do good work and are often the only distribuor in the US for those films. That's why they cost so much - the initial take of the film wasn't in the hundreds of millions.

I glared at him and walked off. He vacated the area after several minutes

Is this what the world is coming to these days? Creepy middle-aged men, who have professed aloud their favorite movie to be Re-animator, lurking in the DVD section of stores to pounce on unsuspecting shoppers and shower said shoppers with stupidity? Does this fall under worst pick-up line ever? I'm pretty sure this guy either worked at the store or had worked at that store because he seemed to know all the employees by name.

Thank you very much for ruining my shopping experience, Balding Dude. You are the kind of person who makes me want to do all my shopping online.

Incidentally, the third film I chose was Kurosawa's Throne of Blood - Macbeth with Japanese Noh Theatre elements.....awesome. I almost got Ran but I've never seen it; I am somewhat cheap in that I won't spend that much money on something I've never seen.

1 comment:

  1. Ahhhhh.... true he was a pain... but it made for a fun blog post. :) Fun to read. I have had these odd experiences where you are just like.... "are you kidding me????"""

    LOL

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